Well, October, it’s amazing you’re here already. These warmer days hold the promise of Kambarang and are starting to smell like summer and we are here for it!
I’m so pleased to have kept this special guest blog project going, with Alice of Alice Heydon Events giving us the best tips for entertaining kiddos at adulty events last month.
This month, we’re talking about a subject verrryyyy close to my heart with mama of 5, Hayley Oldfield of Haven by Hayley (on Facebook and Instagram): essential care for the new mother.
Pregnant women are simultaneously sacred and public property in our society, but then in post-partum it’s alllll about the baby, and mothers are left depleted and unsupported, under immense physical stress and with a newborn to take care of (not too mention older children!). The post-partum body requires a range of support to effectively breastfeed, and heal from pregnancy and birth. This is well documented, yet mothers are not well taken care of, and not in a position to take care of themselves, so I encourage you to consider Hayley’s services if you’re near Esperance, WA, or a similar service near you. I wish I had!
Here, Hayley talks us through a list of things we can discuss with family and friends, and the type of service she provides and you might like to consider. A healthy baby is most certainly not the most important thing (boy, does that saying make my blood boil!). A healthy mother – mentally and physically – is equally important, so if nothing else, consider this your official permission to ask what you want and need in this special time.
If you’re past this time in your life and able to fill someone else’s cup, send it to your friends who are still birthing and ask them what they’d like from you post-partum. There is no better gift!
Second best gift: a herbal bath with me! 🤪 Read more here.
Essential Care for the New Mother
When a baby is born, so is a mother, even with subsequent babies as a mother of one is different to a mother of two and so on. I believe that the best way to support the new mother in the postpartum period is in 2 layers of coordinated support.
The first layer is your family and friends.
Planning this time before baby arrives is essential. Communicate your needs and wants to your people during pregnancy to ensure you have the most beautiful post-partum that is restful and bonding. Call in your family and friends who are willing to meet you in that space, honouring the gentle landing that you are creating for yourself and your baby. I encourage you to rest deeply and be supported to do so with systems in place so that you can handover the homemaking, cooking and cleaning to your circle of support.
We established this circle of support for my friend Rachel, seen here with her Mum and sister, at a blessing gathering in late pregnancy.
This will look different for every mother but could include:
✨ Providing nourishing meals that take family preferences into account, with understanding that dropping it off and leaving might be best. (Company is not always welcome!)
✨ Helping with older children, particularly in ways that give the mother rest like taking them to the park, or at 5pm for bathtime.
✨ Assistance with household chores like cleaning and laundry particularly heavy tasks like changing bedsheets or cleaning floors. (Avoid telling someone not to worry about it. Some can’t relax in a messy house!)
✨ Offering to hold the baby so the mother can shower or spend time with an older child, but also understanding if she doesn’t want that.
✨ Bringing things the mother particularly enjoy whether it’s flowers, a smoothie from a favourite place, or a lovely self care item, in lieu of baby gifts.
✨ Or instead, offering a few dollars toward a cleaner or post partum support service like me!
Remember: when people say “Let me know what I can do!” reply with “Thank you! I could really use a hand with …” and actually accept the help! This is unusual but people are usually delighted to be able to assist.
It was an honour and privilege to then gift Rachel and Emily a herbal bath session.
The second layer is your professional support.
Your professional support will vary but it could include your Chiropractor/Physiotherapist/Osteopath, Midwife, Doctor, Naturopath, Craniosacral Therapist, and of course me if you’re near Esperance, WA.
You rely on this team to provide you and your body with what it NEEDS during this time of healing, transition and mothering. Receiving the most nurturing bodywork to help heal your body and allow you to feel supported through the many changes, aches and pains that birth puts us through.
The metamorphosis of pregnancy and birth into Motherhood signifies a sacred pause — to celebrate this moment in time, to create a gentle landing for the mother with ritual and ceremony so that she can be absolutely in the moment, given the space and time to feel her feelings and ground into her body. There is intentional space given to process the journey that she has just been on, love to hear her and hold her – without wanting to fix or change her. This is the soft and gentle landing… where we tune into the rhythm of newborn life. With a newborn baby, comes a ‘newly born’ mother. Just as a baby needs love, food and warmth, a mother needs certain types of care to ensure she is supported.
It’s a really beautiful thing to have postpartum care, I come to your home and ensure that you receive the hands on care that you really need to support you as you heal, feed and care for your newborn – free from judgement. The care that I provide is based upon the physiological needs of all women who have just given birth and honours the spiritual, physical and emotional experience that you are in.
You can see Rachel’s midwifery care and home water birth here on the blog.
This is where your layers of support come in, the basics can be covered by family and friends. and I bring in the mother-centred care based on ancient worldwide practices that is missing:
✨ Epsom salt & botanical foot soak
✨ Herbal tea infusions, nourishing food & beverages
✨ Warm oil Abhyanga massage
✨ Closing of the Bones Ceremony & rebozo massage
✨ Moxabustion
✨ Sitz Baths
✨ Reiki
✨ Pelvic Steam
My role is to come to the mother at her home and love on her for a couple of hours at a time, leaving her nourished, supported and honoured in the first days and weeks following birth. I am honoured to be able to be of service to women guiding them back into deep connection, trust and reverence for their body and it’s capacity to create, birth and heal.
Ideally, your 4th trimester will be a a stress free and a sacred space is created for you and your little family so that you can soak in the absolute love bubble that newborn life brings.
This is the essence of mother-centred postpartum care: a lovingly supported mother who is glowing in those sleepless newborn daze, and what I wish for all mothers.
Hayley x
Hayley Oldfield certified INNATE postpartum practitioner, level 1 Reiki for birth practitioner, closing of the bones ceremonialist and yoga teacher. I am a Postpartum Care Practitioner focused on centring the mother based in Esperance Western Australia. I am also the mother to three girls, moonlight as a bookkeeper for my lover’s electrical business and homeschool from our property in Pink Lake. Get in touch with me on Facebook and Instagram.
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