Guest: Nature, Child Led Adventures and Mood Swings!

Nature creates clarity. Curiosity. Questions.

It’s opened my eyes to how disconnected we have become from the earth, one another and our fellow human beings.

It’s led me to examine my choices, how I mother and choose to shape my life. Because, like nature, I want to be more fluid, flexible and honouring of my intuition, inner power and hard won wisdom.

What I’ve learnt is this:

We are nature. 

Metaphors are everywhere for our connectedness and similarity; needing sun and water, withstanding storms and building resilience, mother trees feeding their babies (and bypassing the others around her) to support their longevity, the incredible diversity-visually and physically- that lives in nature, the way the eco system needs this diversity in order to survive (think about that for a moment and how us humans have gone in that department), mushrooms creating a neighbourly network of tree support by their millions of connections generating a super highway for communication below ground, the way mother trees slow down the rate of growth through shading their baby if it’s in a too sunny spot. Too much sun too early means the sapling will grow too fast, and it won’t have a stable enough trunk to live a long, healthy life.

Nature never hurries yet everything is accomplished.

– Lao Tzu

Trees take their time growing up.

This is so they can survive and be healthy for years to come.

So they can withstand the shit life throws at them.

When we pay more attention to the little things the value of our lives can be felt. 

So why are we rushing our kids when they are showing us we need to slow down?

Their bodies and minds move slower because they are bedding down their own roots and trying to build themselves at a pace that supports their optimal development.

Those moments your kids drag you by the hand to show you a flower, insect or tree and you’re like:

I can’t stop, I need to think about what’s in the cupboard for me to fling something together for dinner/whether or not I’ve washed your gym shirt/what time our next Dr/OT/psych appointment is and consider tomorrow’s lunchboxes…

Take 30 seconds. Be present. FEEL your life.

Let them remember smelling the flowers with you. Allow that to be built into their foundations.

Children are innately wired to seek experiences that help them grow up. Adults often hold them back from skill building in the way nature intended:

Through risk. Trial and error. Failure. Persistence.

Often we are comfortable with these happening inside four walls.

There’s less risk.

We are raised to believe this is right. But what does more time inside lead to long term?

We’re less connected to the environment and ourselves. More sedentary. Less connected to our community. And to what’s important.

So what can we do that means my kid is taking a healthy risk but I’m not on a white knuckle ride?!

Take a Child Led Adventure

Let them pick a spot on the map. Let them lead. Pack plenty of snacks. Let the adventure unfold.

This means you aren’t showing them/teaching them/telling them.

It means you are discovering things and building skills together.

This is empowering for your child because they rarely get control.

This is empowering for you because you are filling their cup and you’ll feel like an ace parent all whilst having someone else take charge for once.

Tree Climbing

Allowing kids to climb a tree means they:

• Need to listen to their instinct
• Set their own challenge – usually kids are great at setting their own as they understand what they need more than we do most of the time.
• Have to navigate risk
• Problem solve and use critical thinking to get down
• Build physical stamina/strength
• Feel trusted enough to practise self care/play/take risks
• Experience a huge sense of achievement once safely down

Using Tools

Every parent feels fear their child will get hurt, yet we don’t stop toddlers from learning to walk even though we know they will fall, right?

We limit kids from exploring their world in a way we deem too risky but they are biologically driven to do. (making or playing with spears/knives/scaling heights/practising falling/rolling down huge hills sounds familiar?!)

They are developing risk assessment skills doing this, and some cool vestibular/proprioceptiony/inner ear/balancey things too. Which – and this is my favourite fact – simultaneously organises sensory input!

So if you have a wriggler, they are intuitively trying to rebalance themselves by moving 🙂

Using tools under competent guidance allows kids to:

• experience power
• be responsible
• work autonomously
• feel trusted by their caregivers
• build self esteem
• develop practical skills
• explore ideas
• risk assess
• think critically

Adults talk about resilience yet we rarely challenge ourselves, learn new things, step outside our comfort zone or let ourselves experience something as simple as the weather.

If we do stay outdoors and it becomes uncomfortable, before we run for cover why don’t we ask ourselves some questions:

Am I wearing appropriate clothing for this?

Why don’t I like this?

What is my reaction to this heat/cold/wind/rain?

What is my reaction teaching me about myself?

When we are curious about our/our kids reaction to the weather it reveals things about our capacity for discomfort, resilience and how regulated we are at baseline.

Have you noticed kids in ‘wild’ weather?

They embrace it. Want to be in it. And the less clothing the better!

Why do we insist on covering them when they need to feel it first then choose if they want protection or warmth.

My son rammed this lesson home one day when I was trying to force him into a rain jacket. He shoved it away with a forceful two year old hand and said:

I WANT TO FEEL THE RAIN ON MY HAIR!

What if we changed our language around weather?

The ocean can be freezing or invigorating.

The wind can be annoying or refreshing.

Rain can leave us soaking wet or laughing because we got a free shower.

Resilience Building and Mood Swings

Life isn’t sunny and 28 degrees all the time. If we keep living our lives in a linear way, we are not preparing our kids for the real world. Becoming more flexible, adaptable and resilient is what nature shows us everyday.

Let me veer off topic for a sec here…

Women are born to be curved, flexible, non linear, logical, emotional, resilient and wild.

But we are socialised to be linear.

We are part of a world designed for men, by men who actually function a completely different way. After years struggling in this non ideal environment we wonder why we’re sick, exhausted, burnt out and filled with rage.

Nature brings me back to myself. Through nature I have reclaimed my fierce energy.  The energy of action.

Now I make shit happen. I no longer wait for some stars to align or someone to open a door. I kick that bastard down myself.

I have recalibrated my emotions (you just can’t be pissed off in the sea or the bush).

I’ve extinguished perimenopausal rage in the sea.

I have deepened my connection to Mother Earth because the earth needs our mothering now. It needs our children to tend to her. The earth needs us to tend to ourselves.

I no longer want to live a life that isn’t aligned with my needs.

Nature has helped me recognise this is ok.

And to not apologise for asking my needs to be met.

The washing can wait.

There are barefoot walks to take.

With gratitude,

Kate

Wild Creative: Nature bonded wellbeing for emotional, mental and physical health.

Workshops and empowerment circles for 5-13yo and parent-child retreats.

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Coming Up:

WARRIOR TWEENS Empowerment Circles for 8-12yo girls

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WARRIOR GIRLS Dec 19 workshop on Spirals & Labyrinths symbolising life’s path 7-13yo girls.

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